Section outline

  • General

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  • 青少年和约会

    Objective
    ::目标目标目标目标目标目标目标目标

    Summarize how dating became a form of social interaction.
    ::总结一下约会如何成为社会互动的一种形式。

    Describe the functions dating fulfills.
    ::描述函数约会的完成 。

    Explain the disadvantages of dating.
    ::解释约会的缺点


    Universal Generalizations
    ::普遍化

    Dating is not a social function that is practiced by all people.
    ::约会并不是所有人都履行的社会功能。

    Dating serves several important functions in adolescence.
    ::约会在青春期发挥若干重要职能。

    Dating patterns can be viewed as a continuum.
    ::约会模式可视为一个连续体。

    People are influenced by the norms and beliefs of society.
    ::人们受到社会规范和信仰的影响。


    Guiding Questions
    ::问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问 问

    Why do teenagers date?
    ::为什么青少年约会?

    What is the social purpose for dating?
    ::约会的社会目的是什么?

    Should dating among teenagers be prohibited?  Why or why not?
    ::是否应该禁止青少年约会?为什么或者为什么不呢?

    Do boys and girls view dating differently?  If so how?
    ::男孩和女孩对约会的看法不同吗?如果不同,如何看待?

    How do you think dating has changed from 50 years ago? 25 years ago?
    ::你觉得约会和50年前有什么不同?

    TEENAGERS AND DATING
    ::男女生和同唱

    Dating isdefined as the meeting of people as a romantic engagement and is a social behavior that allows individuals to choose their own marriage partners.  Dating is mostly experienced in societies that allow people to choose their own marriage partners.  The majority of Americans especially teenagers are exposed to dating.  But like adolescence, dating is not a universal phenomenon.  In other societies, dating does not exist and marriages are arranged by parents or other people who negotiates a formal marriage contract between families.
    ::约会被定义为人们的约会,是一种浪漫的交往,是一种允许个人选择自己的婚姻伴侣的社会行为。约会大多存在于允许人们选择自己的婚姻伴侣的社会。大多数美国人,特别是青少年,都接触过约会。但和青春期一样,约会并不是一种普遍现象。在其他社会中,约会并不存在,婚姻是由父母或其他人安排的,他们通过家庭之间的正式婚姻契约进行谈判。

    History of Dating
    ::日期历史

    In the years 1920's to 1945, dating involved a more informal dating than ever before. For the first time there were no chaperones on dates between males and females. The dates required no formal commitment to each other and there was more freedom. Previously the community and church established the dating rules, but now the peers instituted the rules. Instead of the man coming to the women's house, they went "out" where it required money. It is said that there was a control issue surrounding the change in dating. Previously dating was somewhat in the women's control because the man was coming into her house. However, now couples were going out and the man paid for the date. The most popular pastimes on dates were dancing and movies.
    ::1920年代到1945年,约会涉及比以往更加非正式的约会。第一次,男女约会没有伴郎。日期不需要正式承诺,而且有更多的自由。以前,社区和教会制定了约会规则,但现在,同龄人制定了规则。男人来到妇女之家时,她们“出门”需要钱。据说在约会变化方面有一个控制问题。以前,约会在妇女控制中有些地方,因为男人正在进入她家。然而,现在,夫妇们出去,男人为约会付钱。约会最流行的消遣是舞蹈和电影。

    Before the 1920's going dancing was a group activity but now it became couple oriented. Cars also had a huge impact on dating practices. Having a car now enabled couples to have more privacy and intimacy.  This new kind of dating allowed each person to get to know each other better before they settled in an exclusive relationship. The focus was now on success and popularity with out involving emotions. Before, this type of dating, formal courting was for the purpose of finding the "ideal" mate. During the 1930's, "steady" relationships had developed as a stage between casualness of dating and marriage. When a "steady" stage had formed, they dated only each other, which could last for months or maybe just a week. This bond was marked with meaningful rituals, for instance the sharing class rings or letter sweaters/jackets. Romantic love was the only basis for marriage, and you definitely knew when you found "the right one".
    ::1920年跳舞之前的舞蹈是一种团体活动,但现在它变成了一对夫妇。汽车对约会做法也产生了巨大的影响。汽车现在让夫妇有了更多的隐私和亲密关系。这种新型的约会使每个人在建立独家关系之前能够更好地了解对方。现在的焦点是成功和受欢迎,其中涉及到情感。之前,这种类型的约会,正式求爱是为了找到“理想”伴侣。在1930年代,“稳定”关系已经发展成为约会和婚姻之间的一个阶段。当“稳定”关系形成时,他们只能彼此约会,可以持续数月,也可以仅仅一个星期。这种联系带有有意义的仪式,比如共享的班圈或字母毛衣/外套。浪漫情是婚姻的唯一基础,而且你肯定知道当你发现“正确”的时候。

    Some of the same practices of the twenties and thirties were carried to the years between 1945 and 1960. However, there was a drop in age of the couples marring and there was an increase of marriage in the 40's and early 60's. In the year 1950, the average age for a male marring was 22 and the female 20. This is because dating activities now began at a much lower age, in junior high dating was common. The youth that didn't go to college married soon after graduation, and after 1-2 years of courtship. If women did go to college, they were seen as having only one goal, to "land" a man or getting their "MRS" degree. Parents didn't agree with this new behavior towards dating evolving in the youth because of the increase in pre-marital sexual behavior. The "good" girl however engaged in all form of petting except intercourse, to keep "pure" for their husbands. If women did engage in pre-marital intercourse, she usually intended to marry. Love still was the basis for marriage, which was the most important source of happiness and fulfillment. The single men and women were pitied, because they were thought of lacking happiness in their life.
    ::1945年到1960年,20年代和30年代的一些相同习俗延续到1945年到1960年。然而,结婚的夫妇年龄下降,40年代和60年代初的结婚率上升。1950年,男性结婚的平均年龄为22岁,而女性为20岁。这是因为现在约会活动开始的年龄要低得多,低低得多,低年级的约会是常见的。没有上过大学的青年在毕业后不久和求爱1-2年之后结婚。如果妇女上了大学,她们被视为只有一个目标,即“土地”一个男人,或者获得“MRS”学位。父母不同意这种新行为,因为婚前性行为的增加,在年轻人中不断演变。“好”女孩,尽管除了性交外,还从事各种形式的抚育活动,为丈夫保持“纯洁”。如果妇女确实在婚前性交,她通常打算结婚。爱仍然是婚姻的基础,这是幸福和满足的最重要来源。单身的男女被困在生活中,因为她们缺乏幸福感。

    From the 1960's to the present there have been some drastic changes in the dating. Feminism had a big impact on dating rituals. Women were now empowered more than ever to think of themselves not as just a wife but also a human being. Between the years 1960-1972 the amount of women in colleges greatly increased. The youth culture also began to develop a more liberal attitude towards pre-marital sex. Birth control was now very common for couples to have. The pill went on the market in 1960, and within three years more than 2 million American women were using it. The average first intercourse was now at age 16 for males and age 17 for females. In the year 1980 it was reported that 80% of males and 65% of females have engaged in pre-martial sex. The year 1988 the age of first marriages was now 25.9% male and 23.6 females, which was a huge decrease. Dating and courting was still central features but in the 1970's there wasn't dating as often and the youth began to date at older ages. The average aged female to date in the year 1958 was 13 and in 1978 was 14. In the 1970's and 1980's dating changed and the following ways: there was a greater opportunity for informal opposite sex interaction, dating became less formal, and there was no longer a set progression of stages from first meeting to marriage. In conclusion, the dating system has become more pluralistic over time.
    ::从1960年代到现在,约会出现了一些急剧的变化。女性主义对约会仪式产生了巨大的影响。现在,妇女比以往更有权把自己视为妻子和人。现在,妇女比以往更有权把自己视为妻子和人。1960-1972年间,大学中妇女的人数大幅增加。从1960-1972年间,青年文化也开始对婚前性行为形成一种更加自由的态度。生育控制现在对夫妇来说非常常见。避孕药在1960年上市,在3年内有超过200万美国妇女使用。现在,男性的第一次性交平均年龄为16岁,女性为17岁。1980年,据报告80%的男性和65%的女性从事过婚前性行为。1988年,第一次婚龄的男性为25.9%,女性为23.6岁,这一比例大幅下降。约会和求爱仍然是一些中心特点。但1970年代,避孕药丸在市场上流行并不常见,年轻人开始使用。1958年的平均年龄为13岁,女性为17岁,女性为17岁;1980年,男性和女性的平均第一次性交时间为14岁。在1980年代,男性有80%,男性和女性从事婚前性性行为的比例更长。1988年,婚后一段时期逐渐改变,从1970到1980至1980年,在1980年,婚后一段时期开始,婚际关系更没有更晚更晚更晚更晚。在1980,从1970到1980至1980年,在1980年的交会更晚更晚更晚更晚更晚。

    Sociology is the study of society and dating is an integral activity that happens between people in society. It is important to look at dating from a critical point of view using sociology because it is a discipline that is known for deconstructing every day behavior for its meaning in society. Dating is a practice that is highlighted again and again in the popular media. The ways in which people date is effected by the cultural norms of the time and place.
    ::社会学是社会学的研究,而约会是社会各界人士之间的一项整体活动,重要的是从一个关键的观点出发,用社会学来看待,因为社会学是一种众所周知的学科,每天都在破坏行为,使其在社会上的意义。约会是一种在大众传媒中反复强调的做法。人们的约会方式由时间和地点的文化规范来实施。

    Sociologists look at a particular time and place to understand the ways in which a society works and therefore how the people in that society go about activities like dating. In modern America, dating has emerged as an activity that is not often regulated by adults as it once had been. There are many explanations for this change including the change in lifestyle that industry and technological advances have brought about. Sociologists point out that the idea of romantic love did not even exist prior to the industrial revolution. Marriage was an institution that allowed a man and woman to enhance their chances of survival and quality of life with one another. Romantic love as we now know it did not exist as a concept. After the industrial revolution when people did not depend on each other as much to survive, the idea of romantic love first appeared.
    ::社会学家们审视一个特定的时间和地点,以了解社会的运作方式,从而了解社会中的人如何从事像约会这样的活动。在现代美国,约会已经成为一种成人通常没有像以前那样监管的活动。这种变化有许多解释,包括工业和技术进步带来的生活方式变化。社会学家们指出,在工业革命之前,浪漫的爱情思想甚至不存在。婚姻使男女能够提高彼此的生存机会和生活质量。我们现在知道浪漫的爱情并不存在作为一个概念。在工业革命之后,当人们不再依赖彼此生存时,浪漫的爱情思想首先出现了。

    http://jrscience.wcp.muohio.edu/reflections/FinalArticles/DatingMatingandRelating.D.html
    ::http://jrscience.wcp.muohio.edu/refectives/Final articles/DateMateandRelating.D.html http://jrscience.wcp.muohio.edu/refectives/Finalartics/DateMatetingandRelatting.

    William Willard conducted one of the earliest analyses of American dating patterns. Willard studied Pennsylvania State University students' dating habits and concluded that casual dating was a form of entertainment that had little to do with mate selection. There is a principle that I have found to be the most powerful predictor of how we make our dating and mating selection choices--homogamy. Homogamy is the tendency for dates, mates, and spouses to pair off with someone of similar attraction, background, interests, and needs. This is typically true for most couples. 
    ::威廉·威拉德(William Willard)对美国约会模式进行了最早的分析之一。威拉德(Willard)研究了宾夕法尼亚州立大学学生的约会习惯,并得出结论认为,随意约会是一种娱乐形式,与伴侣选择无关。有一个原则,我发现它是我们如何进行约会和交配选择的最有力的预测者。同性恋是日期、伴侣和配偶与具有相似吸引力、背景、兴趣和需要的人配对的倾向。对于大多数夫妇来说,这通常都是如此。

    One of the most influential psychologists in the 1950-1960s was Abraham Maslow and his famous Pyramid of the Hierarchy of Needs (Google: "A Theory of Human Motivation", 1943, Psychological Review 50(4) (1943):370-96). Maslow’s pyramid has been taught in high schools and colleges for decades. Maslow sheds light on how and why we pick the person we pick when choosing a date or mate by focusing on how they meet our needs as a date, mate, or spouse. Persons from dysfunctional homes where children were not nurtured nor supported through childhood would likely be attracted to someone who provides that unfulfilled nurturing need they still have. Persons from homes where they were nurtured, supported, and sustained in their individual growth and development would likely be attracted to someone who promises growth and support in intellectual, aesthetic, or self-actualization (becoming fully who our individual potential allows us to become) areas of life.
    ::1950-1960年代最有影响力的心理学家之一是亚伯拉罕·马斯洛(Abraham Maslow ) 及其著名的“需求等级”金字塔(Google : “ 人类动力理论 ” ) , 1943年,《心理评论50(4)(1943年 ) : 370-96 ) 。 马斯洛的金字塔在高中和学院教了几十年。 马斯洛揭示了我们在选择日期或伴侣时如何选择我们所选择的人,以及为什么我们选择的日期或伴侣,重点是他们如何满足我们作为日期、伴侣或配偶的需求。 儿童在童年得不到培养或支持的功能失调的家庭的人可能会被提供尚未满足的抚养需求的人所吸引。 来自他们成长、支持和持续个人成长和发展的家庭的人可能会被那些承诺在智力、美术或自我实现(我们的个人潜力使我们完全成为了谁)生活领域的人所吸引。

    It may sound selfish at first glance but we really do date and mate on the basis of what we get out of it (or how our needs are met).
    ::乍一看可能听起来很自私, 但我们真的根据我们从中得来的东西(或如何满足我们的需求)来约会和交配。

    photo

    http://freesociologybooks.com/Sociology_Of_The_Family/08_Dating_and_Mate_Selection.php
    ::http://freesocilogybook.com/socilogy_of_the_family/08_Datet_and_Mate_Section.php http://freesocilogybook.com/socilogy_of_the_family/08_Date_and_Mate_Seption.php http://freed_and_the-socilogybooks.com/socilogy_of_the_friend/08_Date_and_Mate_Stection.php

    FUNCTIONS OF DATING
    ::缔约国会议职能的职能

    Dating among teens serves several crucial functions.  First it serves as a form of entertainment.  Many teens date to simply hang out and have fun. One major purpose of dating during adolescence is to have fun and amusing experiences. Dating is a form of recreation and enjoyment. Wanting the friendship, acceptance, affection and love of the opposite sex is a normal part of growing up. Dating is also a means of social and personal strength. 
    ::青少年之间的约会有几个关键功能。 首先,它是一种娱乐形式; 许多青少年约会只是玩耍和玩乐; 青少年约会的一个主要目的是在青春期期间有乐趣和有趣的体验; 约会是一种娱乐和娱乐形式; 想要异性之间的友谊、接受、爱和爱是成长的正常部分; 约会也是社会和个人力量的一种手段。

    Second,dating also helps as a mechanism for socialization. According to a survey dating also enhances identity development and development of empathy.  Dating teaches teens about the opposite sex and the proper way to behave in certain situations. It also helps teens to learn appropriate role behaviors and gain a sense of self- concepts. 
    ::其次,约会还作为一种社会化机制起到帮助作用。根据一项调查,约会还促进了身份发展和同情心的发展。约会教育青少年了解异性以及在某些情况下的正确行为方式。它还帮助青少年学习适当的角色行为和获得自我概念感。

    Third, dating helps attain certain basic psychological needs such as companionship, conversation, acceptance and intimacy.  Intimacy is the development of affection, respect, loyalty, mutual trust, sharing, openness, love and commitment.
    ::第三,约会有助于满足某些基本的心理需要,如伴侣关系、对话、接受和亲密关系。 亲密关系是感情、尊重、忠诚、互信、共享、开放、爱和承诺的发展。

    Fourth function dating serves is attainment of status.  In a society that allows people to choose their own marriage partners, people are judged on whom they date.  In certain situations, one's status can be elevated or not based on whom one dates. 
    ::在允许人们选择自己的婚姻伴侣的社会里,对人们的判断取决于他们的日期,在某些情况下,一个人的地位可以提高,也可以不以某个日期为依据。

    Finally the last function dating serves is spouse selection.  This function comes later on during the dating process.  All of these functions serve their own purpose on a dating process.  Some adolescent relationships with friends may be superficial while the others may be real close ones. Dating can provide the opportunity for intimacy but whether it will develop varies with individuals and with different pairs. As youths get older dating becomes more as a means of mate sorting and selection, whether the motive is conscious or not.
    ::最后,最后一个函数约会是选择配偶。这个函数在约会过程中稍后出现。所有这些函数都为自己的约会过程服务。一些青少年与朋友的关系可能是肤浅的,而其他的则可能是亲近的。约会可以提供亲密的机会,但这种关系是否会随着个人和不同的配偶而变化。随着年轻人的约会时间越来越长,成为伴侣排序和选择的一种方式,无论动机是否自觉。


    Positive Effects of Dating for Teenagers
    ::约会对青少年的正面影响

    Dating has many positive benefits for teens, even if they easily get carried away with romantic feelings. Appropriate teen relationships lead to maturity in teenagers and a better understanding of adult relationships. Getting this practice in early allows teens to discover what they want and need out of romantic relationships. Through dating, teens gain essential tools in navigating the world and are better able to develop meaningful intimate relationships as adults.  
    ::约会给青少年带来许多积极的好处,即使他们很容易被浪漫感情所吸引。适当的青少年关系导致青少年的成熟和对成人关系的更好理解。 过早地这样做让青少年能够从浪漫关系中发现他们想要和需要的东西。 通过约会,青少年获得了引导世界的基本工具,并且能够作为成年人更好地发展有意义的亲密关系。

    Positive Effects of Dating for Teenagers

    Dating gives teens important practice with intimate relationships.
    ::约会给青少年提供 重要的实践 与亲密关系。

    Photo Credit Creatas Images/Creatas/Getty Images
    ::照片 照片 照片 照片 照片 照片 图片 / 图像 / 图像 / 图像 / 图像 / 图像 / 图像 / 图像 / Getty 图像

    CH- CH- CHANGES
    ::中 - 中 - 变 变

    One positive aspect of teenage dating is that it facilitates maturity in teens. Because of dating, teens have a better understanding of how affection and intimacy function within a relationship, according to Gateway, a publication from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign that is dedicated to teen issues. In turn, they are better able to interact with others, distinguishing intimate feelings from companionate ones. Thus, teens grasp the power and weight of romantic feelings and gain a sense of control over them. By pursuing dating relationships, teens grow in their ability to discern lust from intimacy. 
    ::青少年约会的一个积极方面是,它有利于青少年的成熟。 据Gateway(Gateway)说,青少年更了解感情和亲密关系如何在关系中发挥作用,这是伊利诺伊大学在Urbana-Champaign出版的专为青少年问题的出版物。反过来,他们更能够与他人互动,将亲密感情与伴侣感情区分开来。因此,青少年掌握浪漫感情的力量和份量,并获得一种控制感。通过追求约会关系,青少年能够从亲密关系中发现欲望。

    Walking the Line
    ::沿线行走

    Boundary setting is a potential benefit of teen dating. Boundaries are important because they determine acceptable treatment. Teens must learn how to create and negotiate boundaries so that they do not become enmeshed or abused in relationships. This particular benefit can manifest as a better understanding of what is acceptable within a relationship or by setting of standard of acceptable partners. These boundaries go on to influence adult relationships and serve as a framework for how relationships function.
    ::划定边界是青少年约会的潜在好处。边界很重要,因为它们决定了可接受的待遇。青少年必须学会如何建立和谈判边界,以免在关系中被束缚或滥用。这种特别的好处可以表现为更好地了解在关系中可接受的内容,或确定可接受的伙伴的标准。边界还影响成人关系,并成为关系如何运作的框架。

    Talking the Talk
    ::谈空谈

    Communication skills are a necessary component of relationships, which grow in teens when they date. Through communication, teens talk about their needs and demonstrate their feelings, but also listen when their partners do the same. By participating in dating, teens begin to learn how to compromise and cooperate with partners, building on important skills such as active listening and nonverbal messages. They develop the ability to resolve conflict without hostility and negotiate with their partners. By learning communication skills early, teens are better equipped to handle positive dating relationships as adults.
    ::沟通技能是关系的必要组成部分,这种关系在青少年交往时成长。通过沟通,青少年谈论他们的需求并展示他们的感情,同时也倾听他们的伴侣的心声。通过参与约会,青少年开始学会如何妥协和与伴侣合作,在积极倾听和非语言信息等重要技能的基础上学习如何进行妥协与合作。他们发展了在没有敌意的情况下解决冲突和与其伴侣谈判的能力。通过早期学习沟通技能,青少年在成年时更有能力处理积极的约会关系。

    Drawing a Blueprint
    ::绘制蓝图

    Dating gives teens important practice in managing intimate relationships. This practice is an essential skill, which they will hone throughout their adult lives. Teens begin to develop an understanding of how intimate relationships work. They find what factors contribute to successful relationships, but also discover what they need and desire from intimate others. These early dating relationships often lead to fulfilling and caring adult romantic relationships, adding credence to this positive aspect of teenage dating, according to Education.com.
    ::约会为青少年提供了管理亲密关系的重要实践。这种实践是一种基本技能,他们在整个成人生活中都会修补这种技能。 青少年开始了解亲密关系是如何运作的。 他们发现哪些因素有助于建立成功的关系,但也发现他们需要什么以及从亲密关系中得到什么愿望。 这些早期的约会关系往往导致满足和关爱成年人的浪漫关系,这增加了青少年约会这一积极方面的可信度。

     

    Additional information can be found in the following article Teens and Dating    
    ::更多信息,请参见以下条款Teens和Date。


    Additional information on teen dating violence can be found in Break up Violence: Resources for Teens and Parents
    ::有关青少年约会暴力的更多信息,请参见《分手暴力:青少年和父母的资源》。