Near the Sign of the Bell
Liv'd Jobson and Nell
And cobbling of Shoes was his trade
They agreed very well
The neighbors did tell
For he was a funny old blade.

But Jobson loved whiskey
Which made him so friskey
His noddle when once it got in
That frolick he must
And kick up a dust
For his customers cared not a pin.

The Parson did send
His Shoes for to mend
To take him on Sunday to Church
But Jobson he swore
He would cobble no more
Tho' the people where left in the lurch.

Poor Nell then began
To persuade her good man
The soles for to cobble once more
Quoth Jobson you elf
He may do them himself
For many he's cobbled before.

Now Sunday is come
And the Shoes are not done
Nell called Jobson a very great Sinner
By his fine frisking Airs
The folks got no Prayers
And poor Nell and he got no Dinner.

But the Parson good man
It was always his plan
To have on a sunday good cheer
Both roast Beef and pudding
With every thing good in
Besides some October strong Beer.

Then out Jobson set
In a deuce of a pet
For he liked not to fast in the least
And the Parson and he
On this point did agree
They were far better pleas'd at a feast.

To the Parson's he goes
For Jobson's good Nose
Was led by the savory smell
He caught up the roast
Tho 'tis nothing to boast
And carried it safe home to Nell.

When the Parson's old Cook
For the Meat came to look
She vow'd 'twas a shocking disaster
And thought this bad news
Would vex more than the Shoes
So in tears ran to tell her old Master.

The Parson he griev'd
As it may be believ'd
When he heard of the loss of his Beef
His haste was so great
He forgot his bald Pate
And ran out in pursuit of the Thief.

The Parson he call'd
And the Parson he bawl'd
That running so fast shook his Belly
When he reached Jobson's House
He was mute as a Mouse
He was very near turned to a Jelly.

When he found his roast Beef
It gave him relief
To think he his meal should not lose
Down together they sat
And eat both lean and fat
And forgave Jobson keeping the Shoes.